QWIT
Adding friction — small deliberate obstacles that stop the automatic reach
Most relapses aren't a considered decision — they're an automatic sequence that runs before conscious thought fully catches up: see phone, pick up phone, open app, and the urge has already been acted on by the time it's been consciously noticed. Friction works by inserting a pause somewhere in that sequence, deliberately, so the slower, more reflective part of the brain gets a chance to weigh in before the automatic part finishes the job.
Why a small delay matters more than it sounds
An urge, like most intense impulses, tends to peak and then fade within a matter of minutes if nothing feeds it further. The goal of friction isn't to make something impossible — a genuinely motivated person can usually find a way around almost any single obstacle — it's to make it slightly slower, so there's a real window for the urge to lose intensity before it's acted on. A few extra seconds or minutes, repeated consistently, changes outcomes far more than the size of any single obstacle suggests.
Concrete friction, not just willpower reminders
Log out of saved accounts rather than staying signed in, so access requires re-entering credentials each time — a small but real extra step. Delete saved passwords and autofill for relevant sites, for the same reason. Move the trigger app or browser off the home screen, into a folder a few taps deep, so reaching it requires a deliberate search rather than a reflexive tap in the exact spot muscle memory expects. Use grayscale mode, which reduces the visual reward of scrolling in general and is a genuinely low-effort, phone-native change.
A physical delay works even better than a digital one
Digital friction lives inside the same device as the trigger, which limits how much delay it can really add. Physical friction — putting the phone in a different room, a locked box with a timer, or handing it to someone else for a set period during a known high-risk window — adds a delay that can't be undone with a few taps, because it requires physically moving through space, which is a fundamentally different kind of pause.
Friction works with your system, not instead of it
None of this replaces the other layers — blockers, bedroom rules, structured evenings — friction is what fills the gaps those layers leave, especially in the specific moment an urge has already started. It doesn't need to be dramatic to work; the goal is simply that the easy, automatic path is no longer the fastest one available, so the slower, more deliberate part of you gets a real say.
Pick one or two of these to start rather than all of them at once — friction that feels like a genuine hassle to maintain tends to get quietly abandoned within a week, while one or two changes that actually stick keep working for months.
Sources: World Health Organization, guidance on environmental design and self-regulation; peer-reviewed literature on urge timing and impulse control, as summarised in behavioural science reviews; NHS, notes on managing urges and compulsive behaviour.